I may look like im smiling happily . But right inside my heart , Its hurting fuucking badly . I just wanna break down and cry .

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Its been so long , We've fuucking drifted so much . I miss you , I miss thh hugs , I miss thh kisses . I miss thh warmth . Its hard putting up a fake smile , passing each day with fake smiles , laughter . Will they ever feel that i aren't happy at all ? . Where's my shoulder to lean on ? . Where's my listening ear , To hear me complain about everything ? . I miss us , Yes . I mean us . I don't know what happen . I hate us being like this . Feeling like such a stranger to you . I know , at times . Im too sensitive . Mixed feelings . Feeling so sour right in my heart . So fuucked up , Fuuck love , Fuuck life . I really don't want to carry on faking smiles , Laughters . You know how much it hurts ? . I really wanna break down , Right now . Right here . Just as i needed a shoulder to lean on , You weren't here . Just seriously what is it that made us this way . Maybe i should really let you go . Let's stop all this hurt and neglecting . I guess i suffered enough pain , I cant take it anymore . I've seriously got no more strength to carry on fighting for our relationships . Leave me alone , Treat it as im dead . I've got no more strength . I can't tolerate thh pain anymore . It hurts .. Fuucking badly .. Fuucked up .

23th's ; You left me alone . You didnt even bother to come talk to me this few days as i needed someone thh most . Why ? . Laughs , Well . Leave me alone dhen , Im just an fuucked up girl . Aren't worth your love . Aren't worth anybody's love . Thh old me died . Thh new me , Keeps faking smiles , Laughters . It hurts fuucking badly . She just couldn't tolerate thh pain anymore , So she decided to leave instead . I still love you , (: